1 litre of tears

last monday, i had some leisure time..
so i watched this japanese movie, 1 litre of tears..

it was a story of a girl who was chosen by this strange disease..incureable disease..one day, she started to walk unstably..and time to time, the likelihood of her falling increase..then she had difficulties in position herself and other objects..then she was be unable to write properly..following that, she was not be able to speak properly..for her, eventhough the progress of the disease is slow, it just get worse day by day..so sad..but, i was really touched when  she wrote something like this..

i won't be impatient
i won't be greedy
i won't give up
because everyone takes things step by step
i'm not the only one in pain
not havng other people undestand
not undestanding others
both of those are awful
my life is like a blossoming flower
from the start of my youth
i want to have no regrets and treasure it
mom, in my heart
there always exists the mother that believes in me
from now this point forward, i leave it to you
i'm sorry for always making you worry
this disease, why did it choose me?
fate. it can't be put in words
you really can't make people accept it
i want to make a time machine to go back to the past
if it wasn't for this disease
maybe i could have succeeded in love
i want to be hugged tightly by someone
i really want to be
i already don't want to say that i want to go back to that day
i want to accept the me right now
and live on
eventhough i will also be hurt by those heartless glances
but also, i understand that at the same time gentle glances exists
eventhough it's like this, i still want to be here
because here is, the place that i exist
what's wrong with falling down?
because as long as i stand up again it'll be just fine
if you look up at the sky after falling down
the blue sky is also today,
stretching limitless and smiles at me
people shouldn't dwell on the past
it's enough to try your best in all that you're doing now
mom, will i be able to get married?

that story..was almost the same that happened to one of my bestfriend..we were both from the same primary school..we both even received the best student award in 2001..but when she was 21, she died of incureable disease..the current medication technology on that time cannot cure her disease..a few days before she passed away, i called her..but i dunno that was the last time i talked to her..before she was in a coma..and gone forever..she asked me, why was the disease chose her..she suffered alone..i dunno what to say to her, but tried to calm her..then she thanked me for everything, for all these years, for the last time..she said that she was very happy knowing theres a friend who always cared for her, even she was in very a bad state..she really appreciated it..whenever she thought about the future, tears would be coming down..at one time, the doctor even had to make a hole on her neck to feed her..shes suffered enough..the time had come for her..at last shes gone to the place where theres no more tears..

God loves u more..i'm sorry..

T_T

note:

sometimes u will never know the true value of moments until it become memories..

making a hundred friends is not a miracle..

the miracle is to make a single friend who will stand by your side

 even when hundreds are against u..